How To Disclose a Positive STI Test or Exposure
How To Disclose a Positive STI Test or Exposure
So you can share hard news with more calm, care, and confidence—without spiraling yourself or freaking other people out
Getting a positive STI test result—or learning you may have been exposed—can bring up a whole storm of feelings.
Fear. Shame. Confusion. Guilt. Embarrassment. Panic.
And then, right on top of all that, comes the question:
“Oh no… how do I tell people?”
WHO do I tell? 👀
HOW MUCH do I share? 😬
What if they FREAK OUT? 😬😬
What if they JUDGE ME? 😬😬😬
What if they STOP TALKING TO ME? What if they STOP SLEEPING WITH ME? 😬😬😬😬
What if I say it badly and MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE?
😬🤬😭😡😱
What if I say it badly and MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE?
Most of us were never taught how to have these conversations well.
Most of us were never taught how to receive that news well, either.
And we definitely weren’t taught how to stay grounded when other people react with fear, silence, blame, or stigma.
So people wing it.
They over-explain.
Under-explain.
Apologize too much.
Say too little.
Panic-text.
Avoid the conversation.
Freeze.
Catastrophize.
Or deliver the news in a way that accidentally makes everything feel even scarier.
That one piece of sexual health news can ripple out through a whole web of relationships — lovers, partners, exes, metamours, polycules, and whole communities.
A person tells a lover.
That lover tells another lover.
A partner panics.
Someone goes silent.
Someone takes it personally.
Someone starts catastrophizing.
And suddenly, what could have been handled with care turns into confusion, shame, blame, and disconnection.
It doesn’t have to go that way.
And that’s where this workshop comes in.
Let Reid help you bring a little less “Reefer Madness” energy and a lot more grounded, Mister Rogers-style calm to one of the most emotionally loaded conversations many people ever have.
In this practical, shame-reducing, real-world class about real-life situations, you’ll learn how to disclose a positive STI test result or possible exposure with more clarity, confidence, and care. You’ll also learn how to support lovers, friends, partners, and communities when the news lands hard and people don’t know how to respond well.
You’ll learn how to share important information without over-apologizing, under-sharing, or making the conversation scarier than it needs to be. You’ll learn what helps, what hurts, and how to stay steady if someone else can’t stay steady yet.
This is not about pretending STI news is no big deal.
It’s about learning how to handle it like a grown-up—with honesty, kindness, and skill.
In this 2-hour workshop, we’ll cover:
- how to disclose a positive STI test result or possible exposure with more clarity and less panic
- what information is helpful to share, and what often creates more confusion
- how to regulate yourself before, during, and after the conversation
- how to respond when someone tells you difficult STI-related news
- how to reduce shame & stigma without minimizing risk
- how to handle silence, fear, blame, awkwardness, or people reacting badly
- how to support partners, polycules, and connected communities when one piece of news impacts many people
- practical scripts and frameworks you can actually use in real life
This workshop is for you if:
- you want to feel more confident disclosing STI-related news
- you tend to freeze, spiral, or over-explain or avoid speaking up when you have to share vulnerable information
- you want to know how to share difficult news without sounding like the sky is falling
- you want to know how to respond better when someone else discloses to you
- you’re part of a dating network, open relationship, polycule, or sex-positive community where this kind of news can affect multiple people and ripple outward quickly
- you want practical, shame-reducing communication tools you can use right away
- you want to help create a culture with more honesty, care, and less stigma
You Do Not Have To Be Perfect To Handle “The Talk" Well
A lot of people think they need to have all the answers before they say anything.
They think they need to be totally calm, totally informed, totally polished, and somehow make sure everybody else has the “right” reaction.
That’s not realistic.
And it’s not required.
You do not need to be perfect to do this well.
You just need better tools.
This workshop will help you build them.
Why this workshop matters
A lot of people think the hard part is the STI.
But often, one of the hardest parts is the conversation.
The disclosure.
The waiting.
The fear of being judged.
The awkward replies.
The silence.
The stories folks make up when they don’t have enough information.
The way shame can spread faster than facts.
When people don’t know how to talk about STI news, relationships can take unnecessary damage.
This class helps you do better.
You can learn how to communicate sexual health news in a way that is:
- honest
- clear
- responsible
- compassionate
- regulated
- boundaried
That matters because the way these conversations happen can shape what comes next, help people react in ways that are healthier and more sex-positive.
When people lack the tools to talk about STIs, shame tends to drive. And shame is a terrible driver.
With better disclosure tools:
People can feel more informed.
More respected.
Less blindsided.
Less defensive.
More able to respond like grown-ups.
Not always perfectly.
But better.
And better disclosure tools also...
Help you communicate with more steadiness.
Help you care for yourself while caring for others.
Help you build the kind of sexual culture many of us actually want to live in—one with more honesty, more responsibility, more compassion, and less stigma.
What This Workshop Helps You Do
This class helps you move from:
“Oh no, how do I tell people?”
to
“Okay. I know how to do this with care.”
From:
spiraling
to
steadying
From:
shame and guessing
to
clarity and skill
From:
Reefer Madness energy
to
Mister Rogers energy
In other words: less fear theater, more calm grown-up communication.
A great companion to Reid’s other safer sex workshops
If you’ve already taken Creating Your Safer Sex Elevator Speech, this workshop helps you build on those communication skills for a more emotionally loaded moment: when there’s actual news to share.
And if you’ve taken Safer Sex Tips, Tricks, and Tools, this class adds another layer: not just how to reduce risk, but how to communicate clearly and kindly when risk, exposure, testing, and results become part of real-life relationship dynamics.
In other words:
Safer Sex Elevator Speech helps you talk about sexual health before things happen.
Safer Sex Tips, Tricks, and Tools helps you make smarter choices while things are happening.
How To Disclose a Positive STI Test or Exposure helps you handle communication with care after new information comes in.
What You’ll Leave With
You’ll leave with more than just “better wording.”
You’ll leave with:
- more confidence about how to disclose a positive STI test or exposure
- more skill for receiving hard sexual health news well
- more ability to regulate yourself in emotionally loaded conversations
- more language for talking about risk, care, and next steps without shame taking over
- more tools for supporting lovers, friends, and communities with steadiness and compassion
Because this is bigger than one conversation.
It’s about learning how to be someone who can handle vulnerable sexual health moments with honesty, care, and backbone.
And that helps everyone.
About Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com
As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler and HBO's "Sex Diaries," Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information.
In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes.
Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 80,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.
Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts.
Follow @ReidAboutSex on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok.
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